That awkward moment when you’re just minding your pumpkin business and spinning and then you run into a super tall, masculine carrot.

sodamnrelatable:

soolooxcoopter:

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears

So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through

sadboyparty:

I kiss down your body. You let out a moan. I continue down, my tongue running to your clit. You arch your back as I keep going, my lips pressed against your inner thigh. Lower and lower I go, until I hit your ankles. You look down, confused, as I kiss my way off your body and onto the ground. Kissing my way right out the door of your bedroom and into your fridge. I eat all your food and then proceed to leave without a word.

“how to get annoyed at absolutely nothing” a book written by me

veggietalesyaoi:

i either reblog one thing every 5 hours or reblog 84 things in 3 minutes there is no inbetween

avoxia:

i don’t think my teachers understand i have an unpopular blog to run

mitunathehelicaptor:

“you’re here to learn” I’m here because it’s the fucking law

I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.