when you’re typing “good morning” and you accidentally type “hood morning”
so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg.
my friend was walking down the street playing on her nintendo 3ds and it alerted her that there was another nintendo 3ds being played really close to her and she looked around and there was this guy walking down the other side of the street playing his 3ds and she ended up walking over and saying hi AND THAT IS HOW SHE MET HER CURRENT BOYFRIEND OF 5 MONTHS
- me while watching a movie in the theater: pays attention the whole time and doesn't even get up to go to the bathroom to keep from missing anything
- me while watching the a movie at home: pauses it like fifty thousand fucking times to do other things and gets distracted and takes several hours to finish it if i even finish it at all
- mom: you're so beautiful, sweetie!
- dad: if any boy asks you out, i'm coming for him.
- grandparents: you're so gorgeous, guys must be all over you
- friends of parents: you're going to break a lot of hearts
- friends: you're pretty, now shut up.
- boys: why is that potato looking at me
life is tough when you’re a lazy perfectionist who simultaneously doesn’t give a shit about anything but at the same time cares too much about everything u feel